“I am vengeance, I am the night, I am Batman”
“Get this and get it straight! Crime is a sucker’s road and those who travel it wind up in the gutter, the prison or the grave. There’s no other way, but they never learn.”
“It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.”
“Operator! Give me the number for 911!”
“Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed.
“The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps: ‘My friend is dead! What can I do?’ The operator says: ‘Calm down, I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.’
“There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: ‘OK, now what?’”
“Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently.
They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo.
You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. But the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward.
And while some see them as the crazy ones, we see genius.
Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.”
“To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you’re getting this down.”
“I sent the club a wire stating,
PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION.
I DON’T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB
THAT WILL ACCEPT ME AS A MEMBER.”
“Man: Are you a man or a mouse?
Groucho: Put a piece of cheese on the floor and you’ll find out.”
Groucho in A Day at the Races (movie)
“In Japan, the first person to raise his voice loses the argument.”
“Every time you’re diplomatic in the face of rudeness, you get a fist-bump from Buddha.”
“If your knees aren’t green by the end of the day, you ought to seriously re-examine your life.”